Finding Home Abroad: Navigating the Struggles of the Expat

As a Systemic Psychologist who’s deeply fascinated by relational systems—be it families, couples, peer groups, work teams, or even the individual as a self-contained system—I'm naturally inclined to bring culture into my conversations with clients. Many people come in with cultural or societal concerns from the very first session, while others don’t recognize at all he impact their cultural background and social environment have in their lives. 

The reality is, every system we're part of—be it our culture, social status, gender, race, or family background—plays a role in shaping our perspective of the world and our experiences. Understanding ourselves as part of systemic forces that are running through us is a very big lesson that impacts the way we experience ourselves in the world, as well as our relationships.  This is about recognizing that we’re not just our individual unique self making free-willed choices, but are also influenced by the larger systems around us - either leaning on or suffering from them. 

This realization comes to light specially  during migration processes, as well as the following years - or generations. Let’s see this phenomenon more in detail:

Why Acculturation Matters

Sam & Berry (2006) define Acculturation as the cultural and psychological changes resulting from continuous contact between individuals from different cultural backgrounds. They stress that acculturation is a two-way process, impacting both the individuals who migrate and the host society. For migrants, it’s about finding balance between two worlds—maintaining a connection to their roots while adapting to the new culture around them. Sam and Berry identified four strategies they can adopt, depending on their desire to maintain their original culture and engage with the host culture:

1. Assimilation: People choose to fully embrace the host culture, often letting go of their original cultural identity.

2. Separation: Individuals prefer to maintain their original culture and avoid interaction with the host culture.

3. Integration: People manage to balance both, maintaining their original culture while actively participating in the host culture.

4. Marginalization: When individuals disconnect from both their original and host cultures, they often end up feeling isolated.

Additionally, the adaptation process involved in acculturation happens on two distinct levels:

• Sociocultural Adaptation: Refers to how well individuals adapt to the norms, skills, and daily functioning within a new culture. This can include understanding language, norms, and customs, which facilitate smoother social functioning.

• Psychological Adaptation: This focuses on personal well-being, mental health, and overall life satisfaction. A successful adaptation here usually involves finding a cultural balance, generally through integration. It’s not about sacrificing one identity for another, but rather about mixing them in a tasty, healthy and satisfying smoothie for each individual.

Of course, the process of acculturation is not an easy one - this smoothie includes ingredientes coming from the migrant individual - Personality traits, language skills, and pre-migration experiences -,  from the context -  culture attitudes toward immigrants, social support, and cultural similarity between the host and original cultures, and from another interesting factor named Acculturative Stress.

Acculturative Stress

This is the mental and emotional strain caused by the need to adjust to a new culture. High levels of acculturative stress have been associated to mental health challenges like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety or depression. Labels aside, it can definitely lead to an identity crisis of the person who changed their entire life as well as feelings of helplessness, loneliness, high confusion and even guilt, when the culture of origin is a very collective one and the pressure from the family is explicit. 

Living in Dubai, I see this all the time. Dubai is unique; with an expat population of over 88%, it’s a city that thrives on cultural diversity. This diversity makes it vibrant and exciting, but it can also create a unique type of acculturative stress. Individuals and families often come to Dubai for work, and while they bring pieces of their home culture with them, they’re immersed in a mix of global cultures. The job, the working environment, the new school, the city rhythm and life style, que social norms —it’s often very different from what people are used to, and that can be overwhelming.

Clients often express frustration over navigating this mix. They ask themselves, “What if I still feel out of place after months? What if I don’t find my community here?” 

I immediately call out for patience - acculturation is not a linear process; it varies over time, and even across generations. The children of the children of the migrant can still feel that stress somehow (again, depending on the ingredients of the smoothie mentioned above), and the acculturation strategy an individual adopts can evolve over time. Patience, self-compassion, and staying connected to our emotions are crucial to navigating this process smoothly. If you feel that the stress is getting out of control—experiencing anxiety, deep sadness, apathy, or difficulty finding enjoyment in anything—a safe, non-judgmental space can help you work through these emotions and the accompanying confusion. Therapy can support you in blending your unique “smoothie” of cultures, experiences and identity.